I have been feeling a bit of a nudge to get back to blogging. When I started this blog years ago, I can remember telling myself to just write…put it out there, and if people read it that would be great. But, I also remember telling myself to acknowledge that as the “cherry on top” because I wanted to make sure I was first writing for ME. And, so that’s what I did. I wrote from my heart ~ really the only way I know to write. I shared it all ~ sweet, funny, difficult, sad, adorable, and all of it was straight from my heart and soul. People did start to read, to show up, and leave me beautiful comments and “hellos”. This made my heart so happy! YOU showed up, you joined me on this journey, and I felt as though we were sitting at the kitchen table sharing our hearts, our stories…together. And, I loved this. Sometimes life gets busy, crazy, or just difficult, and blogging can often take a back seat so other things can be priority. And, I admit, there have been times in my life when the words just didn’t come. I just didn’t have the energy or the desire to try to put it all together. It takes time to create posts, and sometimes it just wasn’t what my heart felt called to do at the moment. But, I would begin to miss it because I have learned that I must write…I must share my heart. And, whether that is via words, painted girlies, or photography…well, I must have an outlet for my heart to speak.
It took me awhile to show up here after we lost Kaylee, my precious niece. I felt her gently nudging me to show up on these pages again, but then, I also heard her understanding when it didn’t become a regular outlet for me during those days. I shared my heart in other places, and that seemed to work then. However, I’ve always felt a pull to write more, to come back to this space where my heart seems to spill out so effortlessly. And, once I began to hear this voice more and more, I realized I would know just when it was time to show up again in this space. And, I knew Kaylee would have something to do with it. I knew in my heart she would help me to see when the timing was right. And, yet again, she has shown up in the most beautiful of ways.
The other day I decided to check out a few things in the admin area of my blog, as it has been on my heart to update it and start writing again here. I was actually shocked to see I had not written a post since last year…yes, October of 2016! Wow!! I don’t think I even realized it had been that long. I suppose I share a lot on Facebook and Instagram so that does feel like mini blog posts at times so I can see how I wouldn’t even realize how much time had passed since I visited this spot. As I tried to login, each attempt failed. I finally went to check to make sure I was using the correct info. All checked out so once again, I tried. The attempt failed again. Imagine my surprise when I finally clicked on the “forgot password?” option to find that my username did not even work! What??!!! Oh, dear! At this point I am completely puzzled. I had verified all my info, and everything I was attempting to use was accurate and what I used the last time I logged in. Hmmm…quite frustrating, I assure you! So, I finally called Bluehost, the company that hosts my blog. I have used them since I began this blog and have always loved their great customer service. It seems any time I have ever called them I have gotten a rep that knew much more than I was initially asking and able to answer even those questions that started with, “I know this may not be your area, but would you know about…”. A rep by the name of Jesse answered my call that day so off I went in explaining how crazy it was that I couldn’t log in to the admin area of my blog. So, he began to check a few things out, and he could not even get into it. He finally had success and mentioned I was using the wrong email. “Ah, what??? ~ NO, I’m not!!” was my quick reply! Then, he said that the first part of the email was my username so the username I was trying to use was not what my blog was set up with. What???!!! Now, let’s just stop right here for a moment so I can say, bless his heart as he had to deal with my upset. LOL This made absolutely no sense to me. He continued to spell the name and repeat the email again, all the while I am telling him there is NO WAY this is even possible. He told me the username he stated was the one that set up the account and had done all the posts. I replied, “Ah, I don’t think so!!! Are you kidding??? I am the ONLY ONE whom has ever had access to my blog…I am the ONLY ONE to have ever written posts…they all came from MY HEART AND SOUL…NO ONE ELSE has ever written or done anything with my blog!!!!” Seriously, one must be careful when you have to try to relay the news of such to a southern chick that is quite proud of the sharing of her heart in this sweet little home that has housed all sorts of memories and moments that only she had the knowledge to write! LOL So, we continue along this path, and of course, it seems to Jesse that this other person has been in charge of the blog because it is that person’s name showing as the admin user since it began. I just cannot believe what I am hearing, and then, I get into the account and cannot believe what I am seeing ~ yes, this person that I have not ever heard of is showing as the admin user of MY BLOG!!! I am quite upset by this point, to say the least! 🙂
Every time I have ever signed in and updated my blog, I have always used the info I attempted to use the other day so this just made no sense. I haven’t ever had any issues, and my computers even had the info saved so I didn’t have to input it each time. And, MY INFO always worked. So, as we chatted more, and Jesse continued to research the account and look for issues, I said it must have been hacked. Since I had not been checking and updating it, then, I had not even realized there was an issue. It is a terrible feeling to realize something of this nature has happened to something you have worked so hard on for several years ~ it just feels as though I’ve been violated. I started my blog back in 2009. How crazy that “it looks as though” this other person is the one that started it and has his name showing as the admin of it. And, the even more frustrating issue is that I can’t even change it back to MY username at the moment. So, how in the world was this person able to remove my name and replace with his??!!! Ugh!!! What a mess! So, Jesse had some ideas of how we can correct that so we’ll work on that later, but for the time being, I was so thankful he was able to get me back into my account.
Throughout this process as Jesse had been researching the issue, he had seen the last blog post and others and commented that I have a really great blog. He shared some nice compliments about it, which of course, pleased this writer’s heart! At some point in the conversation {this was a long chat, as it took awhile for him to get into the account and do all this researching ~ thank you again, Jesse!}, he asked me if I was going to write about our call. A bit puzzled at first, I began to respond, “Why, ah, yes, I guess I should!” 🙂 He replied, “Well, I was just seeing where you wrote about that lady at Verizon.” I smiled inside as I thought back to that call with a sweet Verizon rep. You can read the post prior to this one to see what a special call that turned out to be. I began to share a bit more about that call with Jesse, and he loved the part about the rep offering to tell me what her name means. So, of course, the door opened for me to share with him a bit more about Kaylee. He listened and kindly said, “I am so sorry for your loss.” Before I knew it, I was quickly sharing with him about Granny Birdie, Kaylee Birdie, hellos from Heaven, and other sweet signs that bless my life. He listened intently, and often chimed in with a “Seriously…really…wow ~ that’s amazing!” I had told him how I felt Kaylee orchestrated the call with the Verizon lady and how it sure felt she was a part of ours, too. My mind was still reeling with how this issue could have happened with my blog, but I found myself feeling Kaylee’s presence more and more as Jesse and I chatted. During those moments, I find that I am not feeling as stressed about the admin issue, the frustration is leaving my voice, and I feel this excitement in my heart over the opportunity to be able to share with him about “Kaylee Joy” and what it means. Before we ended the call, he said he had two questions for me…one was regarding something technical about the blog, and the other one was this, “When can I expect to see a new blog post?”. So, I thought for a moment and replied, “Hmmm…well, ah, Wednesday!” 🙂 I couldn’t help but smile later as I thought about him asking me that question. I felt it was a sweet nudge from Kaylee…I don’t ever know who she will choose to be her messenger! 🙂 I often hear her encouraging me with all my creative endeavors and especially with my writing so it comes as no surprise to feel as though she was trying to cheer me on about getting back to this spot that houses thoughts from my heart. I told Jesse he added a dose of “Kaylee Joy” to my day, and I hoped he would remember to have eyes that are willing to see ~ doses of JOY that fill our days if we are just willing to look for them and be amazed by the ones that take us by surprise when we aren’t even looking. He said he would and that it had been a delight to chat with me. Well, the feeling was mutual!
I just love it when something happens in my day like this. There I was feeling so frustrated about my blog issue and a bit frenzied even as I tried to assure Jesse early in the conversation that I was the ONLY ONE to have had access to my blog, and then, the call ends with a smile on my face and a whole lotta new “Kaylee Joy” filling my heart! I sure wasn’t expecting it from that call as I dialed the number. That’s what makes it even more fun and unique! Don’t you just love how JOY can pop up anywhere, any time, and in the most unexpected places and with unexpected people?!! Joy holds the key to a whole lotta magic, and “Kaylee Joy” is the most magical JOY I have ever experienced! My wish for you and for Jesse is that you will find “Kaylee Joy” sprinkled about your days ~ you’ll take notice of it ~ absorb how it makes your heart LIGHT up…and, then ~ the most important part…SHARE IT WITH OTHERS!! 🙂
Jesse, thank you again for your time, patience, and perseverance as you worked to find a solution to my blog issue! 🙂 I just love that Kaylee chose that call…and you…to send me a little hello and a big dose of encouragement to get back to blogging! I have been thinking of doing so for quite some time but kept allowing things to get in the way of making it happen. Thank you for your interest in my blog, and most importantly ~ thank you for asking me that 2nd question!! I could just hear Kaylee giggling later and saying, “Well, Auntie, I knew you needed a bit of a shove…didn’t want to let you off the hook! Jesse and I had a job to do!” 🙂
Copyright 2017 Ann-Margaret, Artist~Writer~Photographer/Ann-Margaret’s Visions
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